I was possibly eight years old when the first contact was made with Leverkusen. Other clubs including Gladbach and Köln were also interested. But that came too soon for me. I couldn't have dealt with it. So we waited. Leverkusen were the club that put themselves out most for me and my parents. When I was eleven, I decided to join Bayer 04. It was a difficult decision – but the right one. Slawomir Czarniecki, my first coach, played an important role along with many others. The whole package convinced us.
At the beginning, not much changed for me because I continued to live at home. I left home in Aachen every day at seven in the morning, I was driven to training after school and I came home at seven in the evening. They were always long, extremely tiring days but it was incredible fun. My parents never pushed me and it was always my own conviction that I could do it. Holidays were spent on the autobahn. And sometimes I had to do schoolwork on the bus. But I'm happy to remember those times. Fitting in was very easy; the coaches, the other lads and the environment – it was all perfect for me. Leverkusen was the place where I could best develop as a person and as a player.
I didn't really have any contact with the first-team players at the time. But I do remember a medical here when I was eleven and Karim Bellarabi suddenly appeared next to me. He’d just joined the first-team squad. Slawomir said to me: "Kai, that's the new signing from Braunschweig, he’s like a rocket." Then I shook his hand. Today Karim plays alongside me and he's a good friend of mine too.
It was brilliant. It was a fantastic season and everything went just right. We players had known each other for years and we were as thick as thieves and we had great fun off the pitch as well. We fitted in brilliantly with the coaching team of Markus Anfang, Tom Cichon and Andrzej Buncol. On the bottom picture, you can see that we were playing in front of a big crowd at the Rote Erde Stadium in Dortmund. For me, having just become 17, it was something special and every young player dreams of that. And scoring a goal and beating Dortmund in the final was the icing on the cake. Then I joined the first team squad. In that year I noticed I'd come a long way and was already quite mature. And then when I trained with the first-team I saw that I could keep up. I was able to keep on playing my game.
My family is the most important thing to me. They've always supported me in everything I've done. My parents have been to nearly every village in Holland as we were at a tournament there every week. They travelled all over to watch me. My brother Jan and my sister Lea are role models for me. As a child, I played football with my brother in the garden every day. My sister was the go-between for other things in life. Harmony like that in a family is very important. We were able to make our own decisions as children. The same applied to a choice of career. It was always my main ambition to be a football player. And everybody, including my grandparents, helped me to achieve that.
At the beginning, I never thought about lodging with a family in Leverkusen. But then it was somehow unavoidable in terms of taking the next step because I often had school in Aachen up to four o'clock and training at Kurtekotten started at five o'clock. It was always touch and go whether I'd make it to Leverkusen in an hour on the A4. So then I faced the question: Should I stay in Aachen and give up the dream of becoming a footballer or stick with it? I wanted to stick with it.
It was pretty bad for my mother when the youngest son suddenly leaves home goes to live with a host family. That's why she was the one to choose a host family. My brother is seven years older than me. I have a lot to thank him for and he takes care of a lot of things for me. Now he's working for the football agency that looks after me. When we used to play football in the garden it often ended with a scrap. Just like what happens with children. He was the one I was able to practice everything with. We are still inseparable to this day. My sister is in the middle of us lads in terms of age. She took a bit of stick. I'm very proud of her that she stuck with it and understood us. She was always the one who helped me with subjects outside football. So my brother and sister who had all the corners well covered.
I was sat at the breakfast table in the morning at our house in Aachen and then came the phone call. I was told Lars Bender was ill and that I should follow on for the away game at Bremen. Our Bayer 04 attorney Gerold Gripps drove me there on the day the match. It was a night game. I arrived at the hotel around four or five o'clock, still in time for coffee and cakes. I came on in the 83rd minute. The head coach back then was Roger Schmidt and I don't remember exactly what he said to me. It was something like, have fun and enjoy it. The game didn't go that well for us and we lost 2-1. But, for me, it's still the best day of my career up to now. It was the first time I played in the Bundesliga. At a full stadium. It was a dream come true. I've never had as many messages on my mobile as after this game but the first conversation was with my parents. That's obvious of course.
Looking back, I'm grateful I wasn't distracted from schoolwork. It was really difficult playing football and going to school but it did me a lot of good as a 17-year-old not to have to think about the whole situation with the club in the battle against relegation. At the time, I was either learning or playing football. There was nothing else. We had to prevent the worst case scenario in a messed up season. And it really helped us that I scored the goal to make it 1-1 in the important game at Ingolstadt. The good thing was that my brother was at the match. It was an incredibly stressful time for me.
I remember the DFB Cup tie at Lotte when we were knocked out in a penalty shootout. I came home at 3.30 in the night and had to get up the next morning to do a test. It was pure stress. We always had training in the morning. That meant I could rarely go to school in the morning. I went to school once or twice in the morning and then had to catch up everything in the afternoon. I found it very difficult to concentrate on schoolwork. But I had a lot of support and understanding.
To be honest, I was on the verge of giving up school. I didn't have any strength any more. On the one hand, you're celebrated as a 17-year-old and on the other you have to go to school like a normal student. At some point I couldn't really put the two together properly. Then I had a good talk with the coach Roger Schmidt and he said to me: "Kai, make sure you finish it. Stick with it." And if the coach says that, then you have to do it.
With everything that is happening on the pitch, I always try to remain calm and maintain vision. That's my game and it's brought me a long way. They also help me in this situation. My parents taught me there was no point in picking an argument with people. In situations like that, I have been on the verge of flying off the handle. He stuck with me for the whole game and in the first half he spat in front of my feet. There was more and more provocation and at one point he spat in my face. Then you have to try and stay cool. He’d have been happy if I'd got a red card as well. But I stayed calm, we picked up the three points and he was suspended. It ended well for us. Of course, there are things I get annoyed about. That also includes trivial things in the private sphere but basically I'm somebody who radiates calm. If I flew into a rage on the pitch then nobody could take me seriously because they all are not like that.
A lot happened in the second half of the season back then. We had an outstanding coach arrive in Peter Bosz and, along with his coaching staff, they gave us new strengths and a new identity. We completely changed our style of play. We became a possession team that still had the idea of playing on the break as in previous years at the back of our minds. That made us difficult to predict. But we really understood ourselves. We were made up of different characters who all got on well together. Young, hungry players and experienced, mature players. That fitted together brilliantly. Julian Brandt and I were the free spirits. We understood each other inside out both on and off the pitch.
When I came into the first-team squad, he was already a regular first choice and had done what I wanted to do. With a bit of a delay, we became friends. Then the coach Peter Bosz set up a direct connection in the way we played. Jule was always playing in the number ten position on the left and I was on the right. Then we rounded off an outstanding second half of the season with the 5-1 win in Berlin and a place in the Champions League. We were all over the moon. The Champions League is simply the best competition even though the Bundesliga is great but there's nothing better for me than this European competition.
There was dissatisfaction in the games before because people expected more from us. And then we went on and lost that game. I can understand why people express those sorts of feelings. On the other hand, people can't know what's happening inside me in a moment like that. I've been at Leverkusen for ten years, played in all the teams and given everything so it's obviously a pity when you get booed. On the other hand, perhaps I should have an experience like that after all the years where everything is on the up. It's not a nice feeling whenever it is booing but it made me stronger. I don't like thinking back to that time but it's part of life.
Now I feel, it's perhaps not the most difficult thing to get to the top. But to stay there, always play well, always fulfil expectations – that's difficult. You don't always manage that as a young player and at that age everybody has ups and downs in terms of performance. It showed me that you shouldn't listen to the voices from outside, neither full of euphoria or of criticism. You have to always find a middle way. One day you're the best and the bogeyman on the next. I never thought it will happen so quickly but you have to get through it when you experience your own fans booing you. But I battled my way through and it started going right again. I don't like thinking about it but it did help me. Here too, my family was incredibly important. In the stadium, as Lukas Hradecky once said, you are the gladiator who has to always deliver right to the end. But at home I'm just Kai. That helped me a lot.
With his philosophy, Peter Bosz turned Bayer 04 Leverkusen into a completely new team. We have a lot to thank him for. I have a very good relationship with him. He gets on very well with the team and knows how he can get the most out of them. At the beginning, he always said he wants to play attacking an attractive football so that people are happy to come to the stadium. I learned from him: That we are entertainers for the people who pay a lot of money to come to the stadium and buy shirts. We want, and have to fill them with enthusiasm. That's how I see football. We have fun in entertaining people.
Peter Bosz is very calm. He's not the sort of coach to run around and shout the odds. I've never experienced that with him. But you can have a lot of fun with him and his team. In general, I've benefited from all the coaches I've had at Leverkusen. Roger Schmidt will always be a special part of my career because he took me up to the first team and let me play. I also had a lot of fun under Tayfun Korkut. Even though he was only here for a short time he did restore order to the team and get us back on our feet. I still write to him sometimes. Of course, Heiko Herrlich was a very, very good coach who taught me that we professional players should not take ourselves too seriously. Because there are a lot of people who are worse off.
On the picture below, you can see my donkey. I've always been a fan of donkeys from being a small child. It was always my dream to have a donkey or even a whole donkey farm. On one birthday, my parents fulfilled that dream by giving me the gift of being the sponsor of two donkeys and then there was another donkey we rescued from going to the slaughterhouse. I feel responsible to help them and spend time with them. For me it always feels great being able to run alongside a donkey who you know would have died without your help. In the next few years, animal protection will be a big issue for me and I've just taken the first steps.
The second picture shows me on my piano. One of my nannas had a grand piano at home that I always used to play on. The other nanna could play one or the other songs on it. At some point my mother asked me whether I wanted to learn an instrument. I really got started with it two years ago and I also had lessons. I try to teach myself songs. These things – family, animals, helping people, music – play a big part in my life.
In contrast, status symbols are not so important. Of course, I take care of how I look and you can't get away from that. And I also like spending money on an item of clothing sometimes if I like it. Or I can help my family go on a nice holiday. But I don't think I'm excessive. Giving presents is more fun than buying things. This time shows us that we should think about what we are doing. Not just because of coronavirus. Coronavirus is with us in Germany now and there's a lot happening because of that. But I think you have to work on things other than coronavirus that can change society and make things better.
This article is part of the new Werkself magazine that is now going out to members by post.
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